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One of the other things I'd like to say is how upset I was when the family dog Scruffy had to unfortunately be put down.

We first got her in 1994, when we were living in Hitchin. I remember at the time being all stroppy about being "forced" to walk the dog when I'd rather be playing computer games. But as I grew up and matured I realised what a special animal she really was.

She was a Berger de Picardie breed and everyone loved her. I have numerous memories of randoms walking up and asking what mix she was. When this happens in somewhere that attracts posh snobs it's fantastic to be able to say actually she's a pure breed from the Picardy region in France.

Scruffy was always good fun and when we moved to Southwold, despite massive problems she had with allergies and her skin, she was invariably happy. You could tell that running along the beach and sitting, watching the world go by at the beach hut, were her favourite things in the world.

But over the past months she developed a cancerous lump in her leg. It was successfully operated on with a fantastic recovery, despite her age of 13 human years. However it quickly transpired that we had caught the problem too late.

She began to have severe visible problems with things like jumping on to my parents bed every morning, or getting into the car and she was walking in to walls and sitting staring into nothingness as she fitted. Thankfully these symptoms were short lived.

Last Thursday she deteroriated badly and my parents made the heart crushing decision to call the vet and say it was time to end her life. At the vetinary surgery as Scruffy was put down even her vet James was in tears.

I went to up to Southwold last weekend to see my parents and we all went down to the beach hut to place a plaque where she spent many hours laying and observing the world.

Scruffy could not have had a more beautiful end to her life, though. In the last few weeks she had forgotten how to kiss (she always used to lick your nose if you asked her for a kiss) but just seconds before she closed her eyes for the last time she gave my Mum three kisses as if to say she was ready.

Thank you Scruffy, you brought many smiles and happiness to so many people, least of all your family. Rest in peace.

So I've not written for ages for one reason or another. I'll summarise my health, for the record... I'm not improving but I'm steady. I'm at the stage where I can bear the sickness and dizziness if I look after myself and put some restraints on what I do. If I push myself I start to feel really shit again but at least I'm not as bad as I was back when I first fell ill and I'm not getting any worse... touch wood.

Anyway, there are a couple of things I'd like to chat about... The first is a gripe I have with the UK chain hotels. I'm currently staying in the "Express by Holiday Inn" in Stevenage. Whilst I'm away from home I've got nothing much better to do with my evenings than to work on the project I'm primarily in the office for.... But sacrificing my evenings in this manner requires a compromise. The compromise is a nice cold beer or four.

Whilst I sat with my £3 pint of Grolsh in the hotel bar, I figured I could put a couple of these on expenses if I were cheeky but it's a hideous price to pay and the bar isn't the best place to knuckle down for an evenings work. So I thought I could get some beers from Tesco and drink those... which is where my problem arises.

The beer in Tesco is not chilled and I want cold beer. Because the hotel chains in the UK really aren't all that great they don't supply fridges. Really... a hotel who's main trade is business travellers and no provisions for keeping drinks chilled, it's insane.

So I set my mind thinking and I can now present to you the "Kloopy DIY Hotel Chain Fridge"...

Step 1) All these sort of hotels have a supermarket nearby. Get checked in and dump your luggage and set out to find the shop. On arrival purchase the following items:

Step 2) Having aquired your "Value Washing Up Bowl" and "Ice Cubes" promtly return to your hotel room. Open the bag of ice and place in to the bowl. Using the bathroom tap fill the bowl to about 50% capacity.

Step 3) Place your warm beer from the isles of your chosen supermarket into the water. I can confirm that within about 10 minutes of completing this stage, your beer will be suitably cold for consumption.

I'm just back from a special birthday present trip away. For months I've been told packs of lies by Charley about my birthday treat. I've been told that I'm off to Bournemouth with her best friend, that I'll need to do lots of walking, that I need lots of spending money, that a coach and train are involved, all culminating on Friday morning being told that her Mum was driving us to pick up Louise, the best friend.

When we ended up driving past places Charley didn't recognise I got a little suspicious about actually being on the way to Louise's house, but I sat patiently, watching eagerly out of the window. Arriving at London Stansted Airport I was a little confused to say the least.

In the airport I was handed a card Charley had been keeping secret from good friends Chris, Richard and Andrew. In it was a bunch of Norwegian Kroner... Now I might not be a genius, but I was pretty sure that the Bournemouthians use Pounds Sterling so with a quizzical look on my face Charley explained what was going on....

We checked in to our flight to Oslo with the promise that when we arrived a man I'd been waiting to meet for years would be there with open arms. We flew into Torp airport with no delay or trouble at all. The flight was comfortable and quick – I'd forgotten how exciting flying is! :-)

During our brief journey through the Norwegian countryside heading north to Oslo, we got to see how beautiful Norway is. All the roads, fields and houses are neat, tidy and so colourful. We did however, notice a distinct lack of animals. No sheep or cows at all during the entire 100km journey!

Arriving at Oslo central bus terminal, we were on the lookout for a bald man. Instantly recognisable, I got my first hug from Spinner, originally author of Planetarion and now ManagerLeague, known better in real life as Christian. He welcomed us to Norway and took us to check in at our hotel.

On the first night we stayed in a Hotel in central Oslo called First Millennium Hotel which was very comfortable, although the view left a little to be desired. We had a street view into a maritime shop... and I'm not a sailing man. Having checked in we headed straight over to Christian's. We got to meet his family, his stunning wife Mrs Spinner, his beautiful baby boy Tobias and his gorgeous girl Daniela.

Their household is extremely welcoming, we were never without food or drink. During the evening we were fed some Norwegian cuisine: flat bread with salty bacon stuff and sour creme, waffles with butter, sugar and cinnamon and the most disgusting thing Charley or I had ever tasted...

Bread with caviar and sour creme. It was foul. Absolutely terrible! Even thinking about it now brings a nasty taste to my throat. I was a nasty boyfriend and made Charley try it first.. she took a small bite and nervously told us that it wasn't quite pleasant. I thought I best be brave and I took a huge chunk of the stuff. It's the worst mistake I've ever made and I'm so thankful to Christian for not taking a photo of my face!

It wasn't just the people I've named at his place for the evening; Shy^, known as Marthe to her parents, came to Oslo to see us! I had spoken to her a few times on IRC and was very excited to hear she had traveled as far as Charley and I (albeit from North Norway) to see us! She's very funny, very pretty and the last word you would ever use to describe her is shy!

The evening was awesome. It was so surreal to wake up on Friday morning thinking I had a 3 hour train journey to Bournemouth to end up drinking a couple of beers with Spinner, the man I've been eager to meet for about 5 or 6 years! I couldn't keep the smile off my face. I still can't believe how perfect Charley is having organised all this.. we've only been in our relationship since the end of December and there I was sat in Oslo for my birthday present, 3 months later.

After a delicious continental breakfast in the hotel the following morning, we had a brief walk around Oslo city centre. We remarked at how quiet the city was for a Saturday.

The number of people walking around was similar to that of a normal British town. Apparently the entire population of Norway (4.6 million) is smaller than London alone (7.5 million). Regardless of it's small size, Oslo has it's own guard protected palace which they chose to call a castle... It's really a palace (a bit like London's Buckingham Palace) but they don't understand castles like us British do. ;-)

We walked up the main street past a load of shops towards the castle. We took a few photos and took in the atmosphere of Oslo. The castle itself is nothing special compared to Buckingham Palace but we did get to see their guard change and to get our photos next to one of their guards. Unfortunately neither of us had the guts to sweep the poor chap's feathers out of his face. What a silly outfit!

At noon, we got picked up by Mr and Mrs Spinner and headed out on a journey into the mountains. We headed north along side the Mjøsa lake, the largest lake in Norway at 100km long! The views were stunning of the mountains, despite us not seeing any snow for much longer than we expected. Even through the lake is 100km long, there are only three cities on it. We passed them one by one, Hamar, Ringsaker and finally Lillehammer where the winter Olympics were based in 1994. The Norwegians don't like to forget their moment of fame, the signs erected for the Olympics 13 years ago are all clean and shiny as if the games were taking place this winter!

We stopped at our hotel, just north of Lillehammer at a small place called Hafjell. After a quick nap we headed out up into the mountains. We headed about an hour even further north, breaking all records of how close I had ever been to the North Pole! At the turning off the E6 “motorway” to a place called Enden, we began climbing up from the river into the mountain.

We stopped at a beautiful hotel resort where Christian fed us even more Norwegian food. This time we were introduced to waffles with goat's cheese like you've never tasted before. The cheese was so strong I could only manage a few bites, it's not something I'll request next time I visit the country! ;-)

After our quick snack we headed outside onto the mountain to take a look at the snow. At this point I have to admit the child in me was rather excited. The snow was, in places, about 6 foot deep! Other than a top layer of ice, the snow was really fluffy and soft.

The ice layer was thin enough that my body weight broke through and I ended up knee deep! I've never seen so much of the stuff at once before... it stretched for miles and miles in every direction! The best bit about all the snow was there being plenty for throwing at Spinner. It was a great feeling after 6 years of knowing him to finally get to cover him in snow! :D

On the drive back down the mountain, whilst my feet were thawing out, we saw road signs that you won't find in England. Apparently whoever designed the roads placed them straight across a ski slope and thus had to place warnings to motorists to beware of the skiers.

The next stop on our tour of Norway was a traditional Norwegian stave church. Made of wood in a stacked tower style, this particular church was created hundreds of years ago. It is a really impressive structure although I noticed a distinct lack of pretty stained glass. Surrounding the building was a cemetery that was compromised of primarily communal graves containing whole families of dead people.

We headed back to the hotel and went straight for our evening meal. We all chose the set three course meal. We ate scampi and curried apples for starters, chicken with rosemary creamy stuff stuffed inside and rice and then quickly devoured chocolate brownie and ice cream. After feeding ourselves, we wandered into the piano bar for a couple of beers. The lady from Bulgaria who provided the entertainment was awful! She wasn't fluent in English so her lyrics sounded made up and terrible! She hurt my ears! Before we went to bed, Spinner finally and officially got to Meet Matt Chapman and is now a proud owner of a t-shirt to prove this.

Overnight the weather drew in and by the morning the sky was on the ground. The beautiful view from our room the day before was now covered in thick cloud. After our tasty continental breakfast we headed back towards Oslo. As the weather wasn't great we didn't get the same views as the journey up so being sleepy and having a knack for falling asleep on long journeys, I nodded off.

We stopped at a Norwegian truckers service station for some lunch and continued back to Spinner's apartment. We must be serious friends of Spinner's already as he introduced us to MrsSpinner's parents! Despite time getting on, we still found a few minutes to play a bit of Guitar Hero. After Spinner showed off his skill, Charley and I got to have a go. It's such good fun that I'm unfortunately trying to budget enough to buy a PS2 as it'll be a while before I'm back in Norway. :-)

Just as I was starting to get the hang of the game we had to jump into the car and head back to Oslo central bus station. After getting the official MMC photograph with Spinner, we said our goodbyes and climbed onto the coach and just a few hours later we were flying up through the clouds and away from Norway.

This was the first time I had flown in to Stansted airport and I'll be avoiding the airport as much as possible in the future! From leaving the plane it took an hour and a half to get to passport control. Apparently too many planes had arrived at once and the airport couldn't handle the surge in arriving passengers. Standing for that long in the heat just to have my passport checked was a really frustrating way to arrive home, especially at 1am at night.

However I don't wish to be negative about the trip... Spinner and his wife are incredibly welcoming people and were perfect hosts for our weekend away. I haven't a bad word to say about them. Their English is very impressive, better than most people from England. I can't thank them enough for making my surprise weekend so great. :-)

And I thank Charley so much indeed for giving me such an amazing birthday present. I haven't been that excited in a long time; it's a birthday I'll never forget. I hadn't a clue at all until we were checking in, what an absolutely perfect surprise! I love you lots, baby.

I realise it's a taboo subject and something that most people consider rather personal, but it's only by conforming to that mindset that we stay ignorant... A couple of weeks ago I went for an appointment at the Chelmsford sexual health clinic for a complete sexually transmitted infection screening. It was today I had to phone for the results.

The tests consisted of a blood test, normal run off the mill vial of blood taken; a urine test, again a standard pee into this beaker instruction; and a swab from just inside the penis, uncomfortable but certainly not painful. Together, these three tests screen for all the known STIs. I was in the clinic for about a couple of hours in total and the results took 2 weeks to come through.

I have to say I'm rather impressed with the NHS. This whole service is provided free of charge and all the staff involved were efficient and helpful and extremely sensitive about the whole thing. My inexperience of the process wasn't frowned upon or belittled; everything was explained to me carefully.

Thankfully the results all came back clear, but don't get your hopes up because I'm not sleeping with you. ;-)

I've packed my computer, my desk, my chair and my clothes... I'm just waiting for Chris to arrive. He's my designated showfur for this evening. I even have a box of chocolates to keep him entertained with.

AHA! I hear the door bell. I best get the car packed and get moving!

Hooray!

[Edit: According to Charley I've misspelt the word chauffeur!]

It's a bit like a sweet love film really... We open on a guy and a girl typing to each other in an online chat room. They look at each others profiles and like what they see. They get on well and make each other laugh. Conversation leads to her inviting him to Alton Towers for a fun day out. They spend all day flirting and wishing they were holding hands or kissing.

Then it's his turn to invite her to his, staying over for the night. A few drinks out in Birmingham city center with a few friends and it's back to his place for some poker and more drinks. She agrees to stay in his bed for the night and they both wake up with smiles on their faces.

One month later, over the Christmas period they meet each others parents and spend more quality time together. On the 29th, just before the new year they agree to make their relationship official and the new year brings them closer. They start travelling to each others houses every weekend, as soon as they finish work and they can't get enough of each other.

They choose their kids names, discuss marriage and having a life together. February goes past and she sends him a beautiful hand made Valentines card. And then, on their 2nd month anniversary he gets a phone call when he's in the kitchen. She asks him to move in with her and he accepts. His heart beats fast as he makes excited discussion with his flat mate and friends and arranges that the veey next day, he'd move his belongings and move in.

What happens next, I've no idea but so far this is the best film ever. I'm moving in with my love, my Charley. It's yet another address change; the banks would be better off setting up a PO box for me. I can't wait. I'm actually buzzing with excitement.

I'm on the train to Birmingham now to pack, I should arrive at about 14:30 which gives me about 4 hours to pack before Chris arrives to drive me down to Chelmsford. What a rush! Tonight, I'll begin what could possibly be spending the rest of my life living with her. :-)

There are 7 days a week. For about two of them one can be quietly confident to be in the pub with friends. However, during the week friends are generally working (at least for us ex-student types).

So this leaves us with 5 evenings a week to find entertainment. The Internet can quickly become boring... You've read all the funny websites, seen all the silly images and watched as much porn as your retinas can take. Now I've never been a fan of the telly but it's a great time wasting device. It requires no mental effort to watch and can provide the odd giggle or two. I'm a devout follower of 24, Lost, Scrubs and Top Gear. I can't off the top of my head think of any other decent television programmes.

Assuming one gets bored about 7pm after returning home from work and cooking and eating supper, that leaves about 4 hours until an 11pm bedtime.

So what I'd like to suggest is we scrap all the shit on the telly and give all the spare funds to the production teams on those 4 programmes. We charge them with the task of producing 5 hours of their shows per week. That's 5 episodes of 24, 5 episodes of Lost, 5 episodes of Top Gear and 10 episodes of Scrubs.

These 25 hours of programming would be released on Monday morning at just after midnight available for download or via "On Demand" cable/satellite. We can then spend our 5 evenings a week being bored watching the television.

I could, I suppose, alternatively spend my evenings reading some nice books or indeed spend all 7 evenings at the pub. :-)

I hate making posts that are "I did this, then this." but I set out to use this website as a public diary before the concept of blogs entertaining their readers was even about... so here goes:

Having pledged to take life calmly until I feel a bit better, I've had a hectic December. The first weekend I was up at my parents setting up the Christmas lights with Chris on their house... it's now the brightest thing in Southwold... link to picture

The second weekend I went down to Eastleigh to visit Evil Richard with Andrew and Little Rich. The weekend was brilliant, I met up with Big Rich aswell and visited a few of the old haunts.

This weekend was also awesome. I've been getting to know this wonderful girl, Charley, from the game Manager League which I've been playing for a while now. She came to visit along with my colleague and friend Gus. We went out on Saturday night in Birmingham city center for a few drinks and came back here. Unfortunately one thing lead to another and I got very little sleep indeed. :-)

And now it's Tuesday morning, Little Rich has just left having brought his Wii round for the evening. What an amazing console it is! I think from just a couple of hours I've got a bit of "Wii arm".

Later today I've got to grab a train down to Stevenage for I have a meeting tomorrow to discuss progress on a huge new project we're doing at work. Then having stayed in the hotel Tuesday night, I'm training up to my 'rents for Christmas where hopefully, fingers crossed, I'll get to relax for a bit.

Then, via Charley's for a night, it's back to Birmingham for New Year with my fingers crossed for a more healthy 2007.

I have admitted defeat. I'm a killer. My beautiful Dragon Tree that I was so proud of owning has officially died. I admit; it was because I didn't treat it perfectly. Apparantly I've overwatered it and underwatered it during it's life, I've let it starve and I failed at repotting it.

Whilst I knelt there, infront of my plant, I felt really sorry. I felt like I'd done something awful and that the plant was wilting in pain and, if possible, would cry it's tear of death. I was actually sad.

But then today I've been thinking more on the subject and I don't feel so bad. I remember all the years that my parents have taken my sister and I out to chose the Christmas tree. We go around loads of fields from loads of tree suppliers finding a Christmas tree that is perfect. It's got to look right from every angle, it needs to touch the ceiling, it must be bushy and there must be no gaps anywhere.

I imagine that the fields of Christmas trees are all stood there like little excited children. They're all proudly displaying themselves looking for a good home and when a happy family, rosey cheeked from the cold, comes to look and them and finally decides that they are a perfect tree for the family, the tree must be ecstatic with Christmas joy.

So I imagine that my Dragon tree, who obviously couldn't live forever, was happy to have lived in my bedroom. It was happy to have a proud owner and happy to see not only my flat in Hitchin but also my bedroom up in Shirley.

It might have been malnourished at times, but who of us hasn't? It was pleased to have been my plant and I'm pleased to have had it.

When you're low on energy you tend to leave the household chors until they really are quite critical. There's a pile of plates and glasses in my room, I've got very little food in the fridge and freezer, you should see the dust on my chest of drawers and most annoyingly I've got a huge pile of clothes to wash...

The only clean underwear I've got is my pink man thong. Eek!