I'm currently in a mood where I want to post this. I may feel like it's a bad idea in the morning and remove it. If you're someone involved, nothing on my part has changed. I just wanted to write how I felt. If you know what this is about and would rather it not be brought back to your attention, just remember I never asked you to read my blog. Thanks

There is a girl. I shant give her name here, for she knows who she is and it's not really suitable for me to share her name with you. But it's about her that my mind has been solely thinking recently. It's quite strange. For months I have convinced myself that she was gone and I had placed her at the back of my mind. This was for the best, really. But for some reason she has recently reentered my thoughts.

This girl is beautiful. She has a lovely personality and one of the most amazing smiles I've ever seen. She's thoughtful, intelligent, she got an amazing memory, she's never rude.. there's something amazing about her that I just can't comprehend or put into words.

I first met her a very long time ago now. The moment I walked into the room and I set eyes on her, something strange happened inside me. I've no idea what it was and I can't describe it using any language I know. But when my eyes met hers, I felt something that I've not experienced before or since. If I had to define "love at first sight", I doubt I'll ever have a better memory to use in that definition.

In the times that I've spent with her and the times that I've touched her, had her in my arms or kissed her, I've been in a different world. I can remember each and every moment I've spent in her company and exactly what happened or was said between us. But I don't remember the surroundings, I don't remember clearly who else was there or what they were doing. Those times were something very special to me.

But, for reasons that'll remain private, I've not spoken to her in months. I had to cut off all communication with her. Those reasons are quite real and I risked a huge amount - not only on my part, but hers - by feeling the feelings I did before we chose to stop talking. But it pains me now, to know that I had fallen for her - like I never imagined I could feel for someone - and now it's all lost.

Just the simple act of thinking about her, talking or writing about her makes me feel butterflys in my stomach. I can close my eyes and picture her perfectly, I can hear her voice and feel her touch. She has done a lot for me and I feel for her unlike I felt for anyone before.

This really isn't an easy thing to say when you're totally sober, and I promise you it's not an infatuation or obsession, but I know that what I feel for her is Love.