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Matthew Chapman
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....Perhaps not at everything, but certainly at writing technical documents. With each paragraph I write for my project I realise it is shitter than the last. And the technical content in it is nearer to non-existent.
I've got this perfect document in my head. How can I be so crap at getting it down into words. I know enough to have a 10,000 word talk to my supervisor where he asks questions and I give technical responces. I just can't get 10,000 words into decent English sentences.
Fuck sticks. There I am complaining all the time that it's unfair that so much of our degree is based on 2 hour exams where if you're feeling shit and do bad, there's nothing you can do about it. But now I'm complaining about how it's unfair that people who are shit at language and can't communicate exactly what they want are penalised.
I can't wait to leave!
I've got this perfect document in my head. How can I be so crap at getting it down into words. I know enough to have a 10,000 word talk to my supervisor where he asks questions and I give technical responces. I just can't get 10,000 words into decent English sentences.
Fuck sticks. There I am complaining all the time that it's unfair that so much of our degree is based on 2 hour exams where if you're feeling shit and do bad, there's nothing you can do about it. But now I'm complaining about how it's unfair that people who are shit at language and can't communicate exactly what they want are penalised.
I can't wait to leave!
You see, I even started a sentence in that post with "And". Tsk.
by mad_gemma at 13:06 on 05th May 2005
awwww..
poor matt... *pats*
well as I seem to have nothing to do in evenings, and already have one dissertation to look at, if you require another pair of eyes Im willing to proofread if you need it :) dont feel obliged tho :P
by Evil Rich at 22:31 on 05th May 2005
Tech writing is easy. Step one: Say something obvious. Elaborate on it a little, and then spend twenty seconds on Google Scholar finding somebody else who says something similar. Add a corollary that makes it look like you agree, but have thought of something further. Two: Plan the document as a presentation. Thinking the document through from headlines down to bullet points should give you enough structure to be able to turn bullet points into paragraphs and just eat away at the word count. Finally: use the phrases notwithstanding, wherewithal, subject to, and thusly with out fear. Also, remember to pepper with equations that are patently obvious, but look impressive no matter how tenuously connected to the subject at hand.
by Mac at 10:13 on 06th May 2005
I'm the same, don't worry, it's all going to be fine. It's all going to be ok. It's fiiiine.
by Gordon at 23:04 on 06th May 2005
My solution: go to a beer festival, get drunk, insult some teenagers and get one of them to hit you around the head with a brick. Get seriously concussed and use this as an excuse for writing a shit report and also not entering any exams.
by Gordon at 23:05 on 06th May 2005
I think your site is a bit confused :) It says "Zero Four" but its blatantly "One Four" at the moment
by Matt at 10:03 on 09th May 2005
I've checked. There are no beer festivals before Thursday! :/ Hope you're doing well these days, Gordon.
by Andrew at 15:35 on 09th May 2005
If there are no beer festivals in existance then it is your responsability, nay, duty to plan your own.
Incidentally I think pretty well everyone considers anything they've ever written to hand in to be a piece of crap. Roll on the day when you can just think what you want to say, and hand in what you actually mean.