I've had an upsetting thought hit me this evening... I'm about to enter this exciting part of my life where I say "fuck it" to getting into the pattern of full time work that so many adults are content with. I'm about to start meeting new people every week for the rest of my life. (Yes that idea scares me as much as you. But what makes me better is I'm actually doing it. And how's that for a bit of ego?!)

Anyway, I know alot of people through the Internet and I've not usually called them friends. There are the odd few whom I love to bits and have met lots in the real world but the majority I see as aquaintences and I've always called my true friends the people I know from home.

However, it's shocked me over the past few days when I've been sending emails to and from old home friends or talking to them on MSN. Hardly any of my old friends know about my Meet Matt Chapman thing despite having been planning it for about a month. It upsets me to think that I'm growing apart in all those friendships. I don't think I ever noticed this happen whilst I was at Uni because I had my own separate student life to distract me. But I know very little about how most of my old friends are getting on.

I can cope with that because there's always opportunity to catch up but I always blame myself for not keeping in contact. However, I then realise friendships work both ways and I'm putting as much into these relationships as the other person is, in most cases. And that's where my shocking realisation comes from: Life is moving on, things are seriously changing.

I hope I'm just being paranoid and that things will be perfect at Christmas when everyone comes back from Uni, but I still find it surprising how much a change of life finishing the education system is. And without typing a further depressing sentence, I will bid you good night... Sweet dreams.