With encouragement to take the £30 and hundreds of miles trip to visit Uni friends Chris, Andrew and Richard this weekend, I threw myself onto a train and hoped for the best.

It was refreshing, as I'd been promised by colleague, parents and friends. It was nice to get out and see some friends in uncommon surroundings. Nice to get out of the flat... before I go even more insane.

It was disheartned though, quite upset and demoralised. This isn't because the rather abismal Finnish entry won the Eurovision Song Contest over other superior entires... I in fact rather enjoyed Daz Sampson's UK entry this year. It was catchy and for rap rather a good track.

Neither was my upset due to losing £5 on the ESC sweepstake we had. The four of us each having six entries pulled out of a hat and putting a fiver into the kitty, to go to the one who got the winning entry.

My frustration came instead from the disappointing fact that just one day of activity, going into Solihull for lunch, the pub for a couple of games of pool and a few drinks with a bit of playful drunkeness on Saturday night absolutely killed my energy. I collpased into a heap in bed after watching the ESC realising that no matter how good I feel for a few days run working from home, any small use of energy still makes me feel like shit.

The annoying thing is I know if I drink to drown my sorrows at the lack of improvement in my illness in 6 months, I'll just feel worse. I need some escape from this bollocks! :(