I like the way that after nearly twenty years of experiece with this person, with knowing every secret they've ever had, knowing how they think, what they like and what they hate, that they can still surprise me. I am, of course, talking about myself.

I was watching "The Usual Suspects" this evening with Big Richard and Little Richard. For those that haven't watched it, and there are no spoliers here, it's roughly and partly about the underground illegal world. Drug smuggling, murder, theft, etc.

Now I, for a number of minutes, thought seriously about where my life is heading. I thought about what my skills are, where my talents lie and what I can make of them all. I pretty much came to a conclusion that I have two choices.

The first is to follow life as a genuine, law obiding, friendly, down to earth man, who I'd currently consider myself.

The other is to move into the underground world. I've dablled in it already in life, it's interesting, risky, it gives me that fast heart rate and puts an edge on life. I could live a life of hacking, lies and fraud.

I just found it really interesting to think how many choices I still have left in life to make. I could still make anything of my life. I'm not religous in the slightest and I'm far from spiritual... but I still feel that at the present, at Uni, I'm here to work out who am I and what I personally want to do with my time here. It was quite strange to realise that I'm no closer to realising that than I was at the start of Uni.

But as I said, I do still have nineteen years of understanding with Matt, I should be getting close to realising who he is some time soon.

[On a side note, Big Richard, who I mentioned earlier, has just gone up to bed. He said "Good night, Matthew.". That's so scarey. Noone at Uni calls me that usually. You see, just when you think you're getting a grip on life and understanding, tiny and slight things can throw you right off.]